To be fair, many of the problems were inherited from J.J. Let’s fly back to the galaxy far, far away where Star Wars movies were good. He called him a crazy old man and laughed behind his back. “I’ve never met a JEDI HERO before!” Oh wait, that didn’t happen either. “I’m just a lowly smuggler,” he giggles nervously. Or what about the iconic scene in the Mos Eisley Cantina where Han Solo meets Obi Wan for the first time. Owen and Beru get killed, Luke arrives just in time to find their charred bodies, looks sad for a second and tells Obi Wan, “I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father.” Then he f***ing gets on with it and doesn’t cry like a for two-and-a-half hours. Today, under the rule of the Disney Social Justice Empire, Star Wars movies feature boring characters standing around giving cringe-worthy motivational speeches and crying.ĭoes anyone remember the scene in A New Hope where Luke Skywalker, sniffling as tears stream down his face, gives a two-minute monologue to Obi Wan Kenobi about his childhood and how the Evil Empire killed his uncle Owen and aunt Beru and how he hates, HATES them and they’ll never get away with it and he’s going to RESIST, as music swells and the camera cuts to Obi Wan’s face beaming with pride? They featured interesting characters doing cool stuff - flying spaceships, shooting laser guns, rescuing princesses from evil space knights. A LONG time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Star Wars movies used to be good.
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December 2022
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